Conti: Running Man
12/11/2009

Recently, onlookers have noticed a bizarre phenomenon after each Bullets game. Dashing defender Simon Conti, currently in career-best form, can be seen doing laps of the ground after every game. Rumours are abound as to the reason behind this behaviour, with many long-time Bullets supporters left scratching their heads. Some have argued it is a ploy to impress the coach, given most of the side's reluctance to attend compulsory training sessions, let alone uncompulsory ones. Others believe it is a form of intimidation to opposition sides (much like the haka). However, in an exclusive here at thebulletsfc.com, we can reveal the true reason.

In documents obtained unethically this week from a medical centre, it was learned that Conti actually suffers from a rare genetic disorder that predisposes him to running at all times. While the condition has provided him with an excellent fitness base, it has been a rocky path at times. The condition was first detected in 1983, when after receiving 36 straight days of detention for running, and not walking, through the corridors of his primary school, he was sent to be examined by a team of psychiatrists. Thankfully, one of them was able to detect the disorder, and Conti has since been able to better manage the condition.

"When we first started dating," recalled Georgette Conti (wife of Simon and sister of Warren 'Coachy' Burford) this past week, "we would have dinner every Wednesday night. I used to think I was a terrible cook, because he was constantly running to the bathroom. I have had to tell him off a few times for running with scissors, but all in all, it's worked out okay. We've just had to install treadmills in every room of the house!"

One thing is for sure...Conti is certainly in the running for the Vitale Medal this year as his performances continue to get better with each game.