Last Tango With Paris!
05/12/2008

The tumultuous relationship between a billionaire socialite and Paris Hilton continued this week with Hilton demanding that Bullets forward Andrew Merryweather forget about chasing on-field milestones and instead focus on repairing their fractured relationship. Sources close to the couple believe Hilton handed the "me or the 100" ultimatum to 'Mez' following an incident at a local park.

Merryweather has reportedly been obsessed with kicking his 100th goal this season and, despite being a good contributor to the side again this season, has floundered in front of the big sticks, still needing three goals in the upcoming final against The Whitneys to achieve the feat. 'Mez', intent on kicking the 100 goals, has been practicing his goalkicking at every available opportunity, often to the detriment of his relationship.

The breaking point for Hilton came on Friday when a trip to the local park caused her serious embarrassment. The couple had just spotted Hilton's good pal, Nicole Ritchie when Tinkerbell, Hilton's prized chihuahua, escaped amidst the excitement. Merryweather dutifully retrieved the prized pooch, but as Hilton and Ritchie closed to within 6.4 metres of each other (the standard width between rec footy goalposts), Mez's eyes reportedly "lit up" and he punted Tinkerbell directly between the two wafer-thin celebrities.

And while Merryweather was delighted with the kick, one witness described it as "a bit of a mongrel punt".

The RSPCA are investigating the incident.