31/12/2005
Season 2005 In Review!
Season 2005 has come and gone for The Bullets. It was a year of firsts. It was a year that saw the club post its first win, kick its first nine pointer, and win its first final. It was a year of comings and goings. The old guard of Tara Ryan, Rachel McLaughlin, and Casey Elliott stepped aside and allowed new recruits such as sharpshooter Andrew Merryweather, dashing defender Lucy Burford, gritty midfielder Margit Gailis, NAB Rising Star nominee Narelle Jones, and the elusive midfield combination of Jane Northey and Nicole Franklin to stand and deliver. It was a year of milestones. There was not a dry eye in the clubrooms the night club stalwarts Stuart Akers and Luke Barisic became the first Bullets players to register ten games. The feat would later be reached by Asher Newton, Dean Jones, Warren "Coachy" Burford, and Andrew Merryweather. Merryweather also became the first Bullets player to kick forty goals in a season. Warren "Coachy" Burford raised his winning percentage by a staggering 40%, from his previous high of 0%, and became the first Bullets coach to lead the team to three successive victories. It was a year of magical moments. Forever more will people remember where they were the night Narelle Jones kicked a nine pointer in the midst of a torrential downpour to seal a win against the might of Dumbalk. Yes, it was truly a season to remember.
21/12/2005
Bullets Three-Peat! Win First Final!
The Bullets have ended their 2005 season on a high with a three game winning streak and their first taste of finals success. With an undermanned side, following the late withdrawals of Stuart Akers with a rolled ankle and Catherine Croft with the flu, The Bullets could only field seven players in their finals game against The Travellers last night. However, the emotion surrounding sharpshooter Andrew Merryweather's 10th game and the return of the comeback kid, Lucy Burford, lifted The Bullets to their third straight win, a 37 point victory.

Merryweather celebrated his 10th game in style, by kicking a club record 9 goals. He now finishes the season with 40 goals, a healthy 4 goal per game average. Dean Jones chipped in with four goals as well with both players working beautifully up forward.

The Bullets now finish Season 2005 in 7th place with a 4-6 win-loss record, a vast improvement on last year's wooden spoon. Warren 'Coachy' Burford could not be reached for comment by the press after the game, but was interviewed by police following an incident at the "Airstream Cafe" in The Glen. The incident, which occurred in the early hours of Wednesday morning, is believed to be one of several reports of "Wild Wednesday" (the rec footy equivalent of Mad Monday) celebrations.
18/12/2005
Lucy "Lazarus" Burford Back From Retirement!
In an eleventh hour coaching move, wily tactician Warren 'Coachy' Burford has begged his sister Lucy out of retirement for one last game. With the tragic departure of hard-working midfielder Margit Gailis, The Bullets were short a female player. Burford, who retired after Round 5 will bravely battle a chronic podiatric condition to help The Bullets win their first finals game. Asher Newton also returns to the side to add some height in defence. 

14/12/2005
Bullets Storm Into Finals With Back-To-Back Wins!
Under the setting sun at Trevor Barker Oval last night, The Bullets had too much firepower for Top Guns to finish the regular season with back-to-back wins. With renewed confidence following last week's drought-breaking win against Dumbalk, The Bullets started in blazing fashion with spearheads Andrew Merryweather, Dean Jones and sister Narelle Jones kicking nine first half goals between them to open up a seven goal lead at halftime. Although Top Guns fought back in the second half (including a nine pointer after the final siren), it was not enough as The Bullets ran out winners by 13 points. The win means The Bullets finish the regular season on three wins and six losses, and finish in 8th place.

Buoyed by a record crowd of six people (including club legend Dan Vitale, Pat McGlenchy - the husband of dour defender Catherine Croft, midfield general Luke Barisic's mother and grandmother, plus library magnate and 'cataloguer to the stars' June Henderson and husband Jeff) The Bullets enter the finals series full of confidence. Next week, they play The Travellers at 7:15pm in a playoff for 7th and 8th. The Bullets will be looking to avenge the 18 point defeat they suffered at the hands of The Travellers back in Round 6.
11/12/2005
Newton And Rizzo Omitted!
The Bullets have made a couple of omissions for Tuesday's game against Top Guns. Asher Newton and Rob Rizzo are both unavailable to play this week. This week's game is the last game of the regular season before the finals series begins next week. 
06/12/2005
It's Raining Bullets!
With wet 'n' wild conditions making Trevor Barker Oval better resemble nearby Port Phillip Bay, and with the emotion surrounding the 10th games of club legends Asher Newton and Dean Jones, The Bullets ended a six game losing streak with a seven point win over Dumbalk earlier tonight. The hero of the game turned out to none other than Jones' sister, and second game player, Narelle. Buoyed by her brother's milestone and on the end of a beautiful pass from her star sibling, 'Nally' kicked a crucial 9 pointer to give The Bullets a decisive advantage late in the game and bring the crowd of five to their feet. A late goal to Dumbalk after the siren was not enough to bridge the gap.

Returning from an ankle injury, Newton also celebrated his long awaited 10th game in style by shutting down a number of forward thrusts by Dumbalk and driving the ball well out of defence.

Number one ticketholder Dan Vitale could not be reached for comment after the game. Missing from his usual position on the sideline, Vitale was last seen scouring Trevor Barker Oval looking for the remnants of his torn membership ticket.
04/12/2005
Newton, Croft, Rizzo Return For Crunch Game!
The Bullets have made a number of changes this week for the big Round 8 clash against Dumbalk. Returning to the side are Rob Rizzo, Asher Newton, who has recovered from an ankle injury, and Catherine Croft, who has been armed with a Melways, compass, breadcrumbs, sense of direction, and $20 spending money. Croft is still only rated a 50/50 chance of playing. 
30/11/2005
Bullets Fire Blanks!
The emotion surrounding Warren 'Coachy' Burford's 10th game was not enough to propel The Bullets to victory at Sandringham on Tuesday night. In a disappointing game, The Bullets went down by 37 points to The Gnomes. Despite the loss, there were a few positives. Coachy played one of his best games for the club, kicking two goals. When asked after the game if it was, indeed, his best game ever, he replied that it probably was. However, he was quick to point out that he would rather trade it all in for a win for his struggling club. Narelle Jones made her debut for the club. The sister of club stalwart Dean Jones, she was very impressive in her first game. 
29/11/2005
Lucy Burford Retires!
In breaking news, we are saddened to report the sudden retirement of Lucy Burford. Unable to overcome a foot injury, Burford was devastated to learn that she would not be able to play in her brother Warren's 10th game. Under the advisement of her specialist, Burford has decided to end her career now to prevent potentially more serious damage. She exits the club with four games to her name.
28/11/2005
Keeping Up With The Joneses
While it is getting very hard to keep up with all of the comings and goings at The Bullets, we are proud to announce the signing of Narelle Jones, sister of star player Dean Jones. She makes her debut tomorrow night, replacing Lucy Burford in the side. Asher Newton, still being troubled by an ankle injury, has flown to Sydney to meet with a specialist. 
27/11/2005
Perfect 10 For Coachy
A week after Stuart Akers and Luke Barisic played their 10th games for the club, Coachy will join them in the exclusive group on Tuesday night. Week long celebrations have taken place this week to mark the special occasion. Coachy's testimonial dinner took place on Sunday night at the Crown Casino. On Monday night, Coachy will be a guest on 'Talking Rec Footy' on Channel 7. Coachy will then be paraded around the ground with Angry Anderson in the Batmobile before the game on Tuesday. On Wednesday, after the 10th game, Coachy will have a tickertape parade through The Glen in Glen Waverley so the general public can join in on the celebrations. We also have received word that a special tribute show, 'Coachy: The Musical', will debut at the Arts Centre later in the year with Anthony Warlow as Coachy. 

23/11/2005
Bullets Fail To Fire!
With a losing streak of four games, The Bullets made a number of key position changes in a bid to turn around the side's fortunes on Tuesday night against The Travellers. Dean Jones moved into defence, star recruit Andrew Merryweather tried his luck in the midfield, while a new look forward line emerged with Warren Burford, Luke Barisic, and the returning Catherine Croft providing the avenues to goal. Unfortunately, despite the team's best efforts, the losing streak is now up to five games. After trailing by 32 points at halftime, The Bullets fought back in the second half, but just couldn't bridge the gap, going down by 18 points.

Inaccurate kicking, coupled with some questionable umpiring, left The Bullets reeling at the end of the day.

Asher Newton failed a last minute fitness test on his ankle, while Jane Northey was also a late withdrawal. Lucy Burford replaced Northey in the side.

Newton's injury prevented him from celebrating his 10th game for the club. Stuart Akers and Luke Barisic, now the only two players to have never missed a Bullets game, both played their 10th games. Their milestone celebrations were somewhat dampened by the loss. Next week, Warren Burford and Asher Newton could both potentially play their 10th games.

20/11/2005
Newton Under Injury Cloud...May Miss 10th Game!
Key defender Asher Newton is struggling to recover from a rolled ankle and is in serious doubt to miss the game against The Travellers on Tuesday night. He is due to celebrate his 10th game along with Stuart Akers and Luke Barisic. Jane Northey and Catherine Croft have been recalled to the side with Lucy Burford and Nicole Franklin making way for them.

In: Northey, Croft
Out: Franklin (something important), L.Burford (general soreness)

16/11/2005
Bullets Go Down Again...And Again
Things went from bad to worse Tuesday night for The Bullets when they were on the receiving end of two losses within the space of a couple of hours. Playing a double header, The Bullets first lost to Manhands by 29 points before being soundly beaten by last year's premier, Meeniyan. Compounding the two losses was the ankle injury sustained by Asher Newton, who is now in doubt for next week's crunch game against The Travellers, who are in good form after drawing with the unbeaten Pencil It In Again on Tuesday night.

The injury could not have come at a worse time for Newton who, along with club stalwarts Stuart Akers and Luke Barisic, was due to play his 10th game next week. All three have played in each of The Bullets' nine games.

With a losing streak that has now extended to four games, pressure is starting to mount on Bullets coach, Warren Burford. As he exited the field last night, #1 Ticketholder Dan Vitale tore up his membership in front of a battle weary Coachy. The media had a field day, with The Herald-Sun, The Age and The Australian all running with it as their top sports story for the day. Vitale was later arrested and fined.

Catherine Croft also missed both games after taking a wrong turn on the way to the ground. She was last seen walking down Beach Rd in the Black Rock area.

13/11/2005
Coachy Gives Jones, Croft, Sister Another Chance!
Coachy has once again made a number of changes as The Bullets struggle to find a winning combination. Dean Jones has been recalled after a week in the twos. Jones, who signed a lucrative six-figure deal over the off-season to remain at the club, impressed Coachy at training on Sunday. "He's keen to get back out there" quipped the coach. Catherine Croft returns from her honeymoon, while Lucy Burford has been recalled after undergoing treatment for her acute boredom. Rob Rizzo, while impressing last week, has been squeezed out of the side as has Jane Northey.

In: Jones, Croft, L.Burford
Out: Northey (social function), Rizzo (band camp)
10/11/2005
Mez: "The Team Comes First"
Fans of star recruit Andrew Merryweather were left bemused Tuesday night when the champion goalkicker was moved deep into defence. Over the last few weeks, there has been a steadily growing contingent of fans who are cheering Merryweather on to the elusive half century of goals. After kicking four goals in the first half against the Hacks, Merryweather switched to defence. A few overzealous fans bombarded Warren "Coachy" Burford following the game demanding to know why the sharpshooter was switched into defence. A startled Coachy let the angry horde know that it was, indeed, Merryweather's decision to "help out down back". Ever the team man, Merryweather had sacrificed individual glory for the benefit of the team. Regardless of last night, "Mez" is still on target to get to the 50. He is sitting on 16 goals after three games. 
09/11/2005
Round 3: Bullets Go Down Again In Another Thriller!
The Bullets managed to somehow snatch defeat from the jaws of victory last night, squandering a 21 point halftime lead to go down by 7 points to the Hampton Hacks. Number one ticketholder Dan Vitale, who watched the drama unfold, described it as a "very dark day for the club". Whether or not he was referring to it as a black mark on The Bullets' proud history or merely a passing comment on the overcast conditions remains unconfirmed as of press time. Despite the loss, there were a number of promising signs from several Bullets players.
06/11/2005
Coachy Swings The Axe!
Coachy has responded to last fortnight's loss to Pencil It In Again by dropping three players for this week's game. Kicking seven goals in the first two games of the year was not enough to save key forward Dean Jones from Coachy's wrath. Catherine Croft has flown out to Thailand to try to rekindle her passion for the game after a wayward start to the season. Coachy has also declared there is no room for nepotism in the side by omitting his own sister. Ouch! Into the side are Franklin, Northey, Rizzo (for his first game of the year after impressing in the seconds) and Warren Burford, who has recovered from a dental ailment.
In: Northey, Franklin, Rizzo, W.Burford
Out: Jones (umpire's meeting), Croft (honeymoon), L.Burford (boredom)
30/10/2005
Catherine Married: Will Miss Next Game
One of The Bullets' star players, Catherine Croft, married childhood sweetheart Pat McGlenchy today, in a private ceremony. She will spend the next two weeks honeymooning in Thailand. Consequently, she will miss The Bullets' next game.
29/10/2005
Star Player Injured: Season In Doubt
Luke Barisic was injured in a freak mishap at training today. While going through some of Coachy's drills, his kneecap popped out of its socket before going back in. He will have scans later in the week to discover the extent of the damage. We wish him a speedy recovery.
27/10/2005
Bullets Announce #1 Ticketholder For Season 2005
Daniel Vitale was announced as being the Number One Ticketholder for the 2005 season on Tuesday night. He was presented with nothing by the team.
26/10/2005
Round 2: Bullets Go Down In A Thriller
The Bullets suffered their first loss for season 2005 last night, going down by 11 points to Pencil It In Again at the Trevor Barker Oval in Sandringham. The Bullets have now dropped to fourth on the ladder. Next week, the competition has a week off due to the Melbourne Cup.
18/10/2005
Round 1: Bullets Victorious!
The Bullets opened their account for season 2005 with a 66 point win against The Barracudas tonight at the Trevor Barker Oval in Sandringham. The win has sent The Bullets to the top of the ladder. Next week, The Bullets go up against Pencil It In Again, who were also first round victors, at 6:30pm.